I admit, my vision is blurry. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Let me explain how I’ve lost my way a wee bit, but more importantly the discovery of the light at the end of the tunnel.
I’m 52 years young and my ophthalmologist seems slightly amused he scheduled me for cataract surgery on May 29th. He chuckled more than once about my young age and my need for the surgery. Good thing I’m a light-hearted person and not easily offended. I agree, I am too young for these aging complications!
Physically, I need help seeing distance. In a few short weeks my vision will be restored. I’m setting aside any anxiety over surgery and looking forward to better vision. I probably will no longer need glasses. Yay!
Emotionally, I feel my “feelings” shifting to the left and to the right and to the left and to the right. My brain is overwhelmed, it is hard to focus. A wide variety of “all the things” clamoring for my attention.
I’m contradicted by situations with loved ones. So much joy on one hand, and so much sorrow on the other. I’m optimistically catching a glimpse of hope in the sorrow. Some days are fuzzy, some days are really dark, most days a flicker of light brightens the path and my restores hope.
I’m consumed by pressures and unusual circumstances in my corporate job. I can’t focus here, either. A unique situation will come to a head on May 29th– the day of my surgery. I will entrust others in the matter. Did I mention overwhelming?
If I only learned one thing in my Community Bible School lessons this past year, I’m reminded every day God is in control. He also promises me a gift of self-control (thank you 2 Timothy 1:7 for this reminder)! Praise God, every day I have control over my emotion and He fills my “sometimes” overwhelmed heart with joy.
But all the above positioned my spirit to cry out for focus. Four weeks ago, I specifically asked God to open my eyes, help me see the path He wants me to journey. If you’ve read my writing for any time, you know I love my checklists and need to know!
Of course, you know, He showed up right on cue!
A few days later, my pastor preached a red-letter sermon from John 6. This passage of scripture provides wonderful direction as I venture through my writing journey. One important lesson I gleaned from this sermon – Jesus is sufficient in ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. This chapter is full of the promise that Jesus is my BREAD of life. Jesus is all you and I ever really need. I cling to these promises for my healing journey.
John 6:35 New International Version (NIV)
35 Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life.
Whoever comes to me will never go hungry,
and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.
As my pastor preached, I thought “yes, yes, I see Him!” But hold that thought! My pastor took a side-bar over to the story of Peter walking out on the water in Matthew 14.
Matthew 14:29-30 New International Version (NIV)
29 “Come,” he said.Then Peter got down out of the boat,
walked on the water and came toward Jesus.
30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and,
beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
(emphasis mine)
Peter began to sink because he removed his eyes from Jesus! Oh, my word. I envision Peter’s distraction as a slight turn of his head. The result? Fear. Sinking. Panic. Heart pounding? Removing your eyes from the road for a split second may lead to a tragic accident. Ever so slight a distraction.
My mind raced over all the distractions in my life – “all the things” sucking the joy right outta me! It’s a large list – I will not bore you to tears.
My big take away – SEE. FOCUS. VISION. Use my eyes. God is in control and He will guide my path as I walk with Him. Surrender my busy “to-do” list over to His control. What a relief! I see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it shines bright.
I’ll encourage you with a few more scriptures God revealed in response to my prayer asking Him to light my path.
Matthew 6:22-23 New International Version (NIV)
22 “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy,
your whole body will be full of light.
23 But if your eyes are unhealthy,
your whole body will be full of darkness.
If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!
Proverbs 4:25 New International Version (NIV)
25 Let your eyes look straight ahead;
fix your gaze directly before you.
One more from a lesson today. This passage is why I’m writing here today – pouring out these words!
Hebrews 12:1-2 New International Version (NIV)
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders
and the sin that so easily entangles.
And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,
2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.
For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
(emphasis mine)
But wait, one more blessing from Him! It’s my privilege to lead worship this week in church. What very old hymnal did my pastor select long before God started teaching me this lesson?
Be Thou My Vision. A favorite of mine. An old Irish hymn.
I see what you did there, God. I see!
Listen. Focus on the lyrics. Enjoy.
God is right in front of your eyes. What is He asking you to SEE today? I’d love to hear some of your story – share below. And let’s keep in touch – subscribe right here:
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I’m not going into detail but started Keto last year. Lost a few pounds. Struggled along. And now. Well you can guess. I take Jesus in my journey but forget to discuss things with him. Why is that so difficult? I love my little church but come away empty concerning relationships. I am 72 and just don’t relate to my age group and don’t fit in with the younger age group. It’s very frustrating. I’m not old for 72. Feel like 50! Look 60!
Hi Carol,
Nice to hear from you again! It definitely has been a work in process for me to ask Jesus for everything and anything! Big things, little things. It becomes more natural the more you do it. Just like digging into the Word every day. At first it seems like “discipline” but very quickly turns to “delight”.
I struggled belonging in my church community, too, for the longest time. I mostly felt I didn’t belong and no one wanted me around or would miss me if I wasn’t around. It’s been an enormous blessing to step out of my discomfort, my former shame, my self-doubt and build friendships with these ladies of all ages. I encourage you to keep trying and don’t give up! I highlighted these verses recently – I hope it is meaningful for you at this moment:
Hebrews 10:24-25 And let us consider how we may spur one another on towards love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another – and all the more as you see the DAY approaching!
If you feel like 50, I guarantee you there is someone in your community church that you can pour that energy into!
Blessings & Joy!
Christine